Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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