What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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