She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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