Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
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