she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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