me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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