Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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