i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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