Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize