FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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