It's Friday. Sex?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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