I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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