My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize