my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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