She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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