So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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