you would pick up someone in the library
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize