So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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