one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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