Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize