Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize