I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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