it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize