She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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