like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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