Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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