The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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