oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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