We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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