whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize