you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize