shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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