remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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