Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize