its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize