That's intense
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize