During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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