It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
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We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
There's even glitter on my cock...
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