Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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