Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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