If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize