I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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