I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
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when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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