Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bring me that man meat
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize