i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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