Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize