I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize