why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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