I just threw up on my dentist
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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