Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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