the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
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Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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