Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize